Notes to Self

Do you ever have those moments when you think, I really should remember to do (or not do) this in the future? I do and invariably those self admonitions have to do with my own or someone else's blatant stupidity or carelessness. Rarely do I think, Wow! That was awesome! I need to remember to do that again! Well, in the kitchen I have those kind of a-ha moments, but in life? No. Not so much. In fact, no so ever.

Homer Simpson, "D'oh!"

Note to Self: Shut up. My Mom knew what she was talking about when she admonished me, like, a gajillion times, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." I really and truly should keep my mouth shut more often. And my figurative mouth in electronic conversations. I just have this horrible, but so much better than it used to be, habit of saying things that I really should not say. And 99.99% of the time, I realize my mistake immediately. But once those words are out, I can't reach out and grab them and shove them back into my throat. Thankfully, there is a delete button for Facebook, but that does not always guarantee that comment will be gone before anyone can read it (darn cell phone alerts!). There have been numerous, like way too many to count, times when the picture of Homer Simpson's famous "D'oh!" comes to mind, starring me as Homer. I really and truly should consider a vow of silence. My husband would probably be on board with that one.

A double funeral procession

Note to Self: Quit yer complainin'. Just when I start to get all self-righteous and think that my world is falling apart, I see or hear of someone who has it worse than me. I am learning that even when horrible things happen, there is always, always, someone who is suffering more than I am. When I think about my perception of the worst thing that can happen, I think of losing Jacob. Holding my four-year-old son while his tiny, precious heart stopped beating was the worst, most horrible thing that has ever happened to me. And also the sweetest, most tender event of my life. A parent should never have to do that, but I know people who have lost more than one child, or even all their children. There are those whose children were abducted and brutalized before they were murdered. Parents have experienced more grief than I have. And my heart breaks for them. There will always be someone who is worse off than me. I just need to look for her and find a way to reach out to her and show her love. I need to learn to recognize and embrace the blessings in my life.

There were so many outfits I could have chosen for
this. I went with the celebrities who wore outfits
knowing they would be photographed.
And they were ok with that? Yikes!

Note to Self: Look in the mirror before leaving the house. There are some outfits that should not be worn outside the house. Shoot, there are some outfits than should not be worn inside the house. If you ever see me in an outfit that should not ever be worn again, ever, please pull me aside and tell me privately. Do not post my picture all over the internet or Facebook or People of Walmart. When I go clothes shopping, I look in the tri-mirror most of the time, but outfits do slip past the sensors. Ya know, those outfits that in the dimly-lit-with-soft-pink-bulbs-dressing-room-with-carnival-skinny-stretch-mirrors look absolutely fabulous and oh-so-slimming from every conceivable angle? Yeah, those horrible, train wreck outfits that burn the retinas and earn an infamous spot on some well-dressed size 6 Facebook wall. Well, I don't know about you, but I suddenly need to buy some new clothes. And look in the mirror multiple times, from all angles, in bright lighting, with my contacts in before leaving my house.

Crazy Lady

Note to Self: Go to bed at a decent hour. When I was in college (the first time) there were many nights when I never did go to sleep. Now-a-days, if I'm not asleep by 10:30, when Sammy wakes up at 6:30 the next morning, I can barely function. I must, must, must have eight hours of sleep every night. If I get less than eight hours of shut eye for several nights in a row, I get physically sick and become a rather ill-tempered and emotional woman. Sleep is not just necessary for life, it is necessary for sanity. Mine and everyone's around me! A sleep-deprived Dana is just not a happy, joyful, polite, intelligent, tactful, patient, loving Dana. I struggle enough with all that stuff with sleep. Without sleep, I don't struggle with it at all. Because I don't care if I'm acting horribly! I have to be disciplined and diligent in ensuring that I get enough sleep.


So the next time you do something stupid or careless, really and truly make a mental note of it. Or jot it down. Or set up a daily reminder in Outlook so that you will never, ever repeat it again. Or just come over here so I can take a picture of you and post it online for all the world to look at and think, Well, at least I'm not as clueless as her!